Title: everything i had ever learned Ship/Character: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou/Kuroo Tetsurou, the tiniest hint of Akaashi Keiji/Sugawara Koushi Additional Characters: Sugawara Koushi Fandom: Haikyuu!! Major Tags: none Other Tags: nonbinary Sugawara Koushi, angst with a HAPPY ENDING, polyamory Word Count: 1495 Remix Permission:See Permissions Sheet
Deep under the sea and far from the shore, there is a city where it’s always raining.
Keiji keeps to the edges of the city upon his arrival. He doesn’t want to be seen around even on a good day; on a day like today, he’d give just about anything to trade his face for someone else’s. He’s been to Koushi’s enough times that he knows the route through the darkest parts of the city like the back of his hand. He keeps his head down, keeps his eyes cast away from anyone he encounters, and soon enough he’s arriving at Koushi’s doorstep.
Koushi looks unimpressed when they open the door to reveal Keiji. They cross their arms across their chest. “And where the hell have you been?”
Keiji’s gaze shifts in either direction; he has a habit of double checking to make sure no one’s watching. “Koushi,” he sighs, sure enough that they’re alone to look his friend in the eye. “I think it’s time I told you where I’ve been disappearing to.”
---
“You’re engaging in mating behavior with humans?” Koushi questions.
Keiji sighs; it’s the third time Koushi has repeated this information. “That isn’t the point of this story, you know.”
“I think it kind of is, Keij,” Koushi says. “If you weren’t, y’know, involved with them, you wouldn’t be invested in how they’re feeling.”
“This wasn’t supposed to happen,” Keiji groans. He drops his head into his hands. “I never meant to get attached. I never even meant to go back after that first time, I just...they’re so warm, Koushi.”
“That’s a really weird reason to be into someone,” Koushi says. They stick their feet up on the little table in front of them.
“That’s not the only reason,” Keiji says defensively. “They’re kind in a way no one has ever been kind to me before, except you. They don’t know me as Keiji, the Great Prince of the Realms. They just see me as...me.”
“My offer to marry you still stands, just so we’re clear,” Koushi says. When Keiji looks up, their grin is sharp. “Great big fuck you to your entire family sounds super fun to me.”
“You find a judge who’ll marry us, knowing my name, and I’ll gladly accept.” Keiji rests against the back of his seat and throws an arm over his eyes.
It’s not that Keiji hasn’t tried to be courted by his own. He’s given it several tries. But the suitors his family chooses are arrogant, looking to marry Keiji only to get ahead in their own social circles, or seeking Keiji’s family’s fortune. Keiji has never desired anything more than to be treated as something other than a piece of fish that happens to have a title.
Only Tetsurou and Koutarou--and Koushi--have ever seen him that way.
In a few minutes, when Koushi speaks again, their voice is closer than before. “Are you in love with them, Keiji?”
Keiji slides his arm back to the top of his head and opens his eyes. Koushi’s kneeling beside him, and when they meet his gaze, they put a hand on his knee.
Keiji bites his lip. “I think I am.”
---
“So what do I do about it?” Keiji asks.
Koushi looks up at him. “Isn’t it obvious?”
“Not at all.”
Koushi shakes their head. “Keiji. You don’t want to live here. You’ve always thought of yourself as trapped. Half the city thinks you’re dead, anyway, and the other half already thinks you’ve run off. When was the last time you even saw your parents outside of a formal event?”
“It’s been a while,” Keiji admits. “Although you’ll have to spell out what you’re thinking more plainly for me.”
Koushi sighs. “Go be with your humans, Keiji.”
“I can’t—”
“You say that, but what, exactly, is keeping you here?” Koushi gestures in the direction of the city. “Your brother has it more than under control. He’s been covering for you all this time anyway. Just...go, Keiji. Go live the life you want, even if that’s fucking weird.”
“It’s not fucking weird,” Keiji replies. He frowns. “And if I’m gone, what are you gonna do?”
“Aw, Keiji,” Koushi says. They look down at the floor. “I’ll be alright. I don’t love it here, but I’ve never suffered from expectation the way you do.”
Keiji looks up at the ceiling, fighting the urge to tear up. “You can come visit me, if you want. On days when it’s raining.”
“I’m not gonna be in a foursome with you. Humans aren’t my style.”
A laugh bubbles up out of Keiji against his will, and Koushi opens his arms. Keiji goes over and hugs him tightly.
“If you ever want to come visit, you know where I’ll be,” Koushi murmurs.
Keiji sniffs. “You’re my best friend, Koush. I’ll miss you so much.”
“Nah,” Koushi answers. Keiji can tell they’re crying, too. “You’ll be too busy with your humans.”
“That doesn’t mean I’ll forget you,” Keiji answers. “I always loved you first.”
Keiji is quiet. Their arms wrap a little more tightly around him. “Me, too,” they reply.
---
The sun is beating down onto the water when Keiji steps out of the ocean.
His scales do not turn to skin. His fingers do not recede. His feet remain flippers. He’s only two steps out when he trips and falls over them, the sand softening the blow to his knees. He lifts his head and looks up at the little cabin, the only place he’s ever called home.
He crawls, his body moving forward of its own accord. In his head, he tries to practice the speech he’d written. Please allow me to apologize for my behavior. I should have explained who I was. I shouldn’t have left without saying goodbye. I understand if you can’t forgive me, but if you can…
He reaches the door and knocks. He’d planned to stand, but his chest is heaving and he’s exhausted by the small amount of energy he’d burned to get this far. He’s got his hands on his knees and his head down when the door opens.
Koutarou stands in front of him, his eyes wide and quickly tearing. “Tetsu,” he calls, his voice breaking.
“Koutarou, I—”
Koutarou falls to his knees and wraps his arms around Keiji, sobbing quietly into his shoulder. Keiji lets his own tears begin to fall, too. The weight of another gaze causes Keiji to look up and see Tetsurou leaning against the doorway.
“I’ll be honest,” he says, so quietly it’s nearly a whisper. “I didn’t think you’d come back.”
All of the words Keiji so carefully planned fall neatly out of his head. The best he can manage is the truth.
“I love you,” he says. Koutarou grips at him a little more tightly. “I’m sorry if that makes things inconvenient—”
“Shut up, Keiji,” Tetsurou says, shaking his head and smiling. “Kou, let him come in out of the sun, that’s probably not great for his skin.”
“It’s actually fine,” Keiji murmurs, but Koutarou hauls him upright. Keiji wraps his legs around Koutarou’s waist as he carries him into the cabin. Behind them, the door shuts. Koutarou sits on the bed and doesn’t let go of Keiji.
“Don’t leave us again,” Koutarou says. “Please. I can’t do this anymore, Keiji, I can’t keep waiting for you. We can’t keep waiting for you.”
Keiji pulls away just enough to look into his eyes. He places his hand against Koutarou’s cheek. The blue-green of his scales sticks out in sharp contrast to the pink of Koutarou’s skin.
“This isn’t going to be easy…” he says. He looks to Tetsurou.
“We love you too, Keiji,” Tetsurou says. He sits down next to Koutarou. “We don’t care about easy. We care about you. So if you want to stay, we’ll make this work, whatever it takes.”
Keiji blinks. Tetsurou looks at him, sure and steady. Koutarou’s eyes are still watery, but he, too, looks certain.
Keiji takes a deep breath. “I want to stay.”
Koutarou tugs him into a hug again, Tetsurou wraps his arms around both of them, and Keiji begins his new life on land.
---
“My mother was right,” Tetsurou says later that night. Keiji’s feet are hanging out of the side of the tub. Koutarou is behind him, and Tetsurou’s on the floor beside them. “As much as it pains me to admit it.”
“About the monsters in the sea?” Keiji questions. He smirks. “I’m not exactly a monster, Tetsurou.”
“No,” Tetsurou replies. “But you did take my heart.”
Keiji would blush if he could. Instead he ducks his head. “Kou has it, too.”
“Half of mine, half of his,” Koutarou says. “That’s one whole heart. Thief.”
Keiji tuts as Koutarou and Tetsurou laugh at him. “Maybe we should tell of monsters on land that will do the same, then,” he says.
Koutarou kisses his cheek, and Tetsurou smiles. “Maybe we should,” Tetsurou acquiesces.
FILL: Team 29 Balls to the Face, T
Ship/Character: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou/Kuroo Tetsurou, the tiniest hint of Akaashi Keiji/Sugawara Koushi
Additional Characters: Sugawara Koushi
Fandom: Haikyuu!!
Major Tags: none
Other Tags: nonbinary Sugawara Koushi, angst with a HAPPY ENDING, polyamory
Word Count: 1495
Remix Permission: See Permissions Sheet
third in the series after the weight of water and the way you taught me
***
Deep under the sea and far from the shore, there is a city where it’s always raining.
Keiji keeps to the edges of the city upon his arrival. He doesn’t want to be seen around even on a good day; on a day like today, he’d give just about anything to trade his face for someone else’s. He’s been to Koushi’s enough times that he knows the route through the darkest parts of the city like the back of his hand. He keeps his head down, keeps his eyes cast away from anyone he encounters, and soon enough he’s arriving at Koushi’s doorstep.
Koushi looks unimpressed when they open the door to reveal Keiji. They cross their arms across their chest. “And where the hell have you been?”
Keiji’s gaze shifts in either direction; he has a habit of double checking to make sure no one’s watching. “Koushi,” he sighs, sure enough that they’re alone to look his friend in the eye. “I think it’s time I told you where I’ve been disappearing to.”
---
“You’re engaging in mating behavior with humans?” Koushi questions.
Keiji sighs; it’s the third time Koushi has repeated this information. “That isn’t the point of this story, you know.”
“I think it kind of is, Keij,” Koushi says. “If you weren’t, y’know, involved with them, you wouldn’t be invested in how they’re feeling.”
“This wasn’t supposed to happen,” Keiji groans. He drops his head into his hands. “I never meant to get attached. I never even meant to go back after that first time, I just...they’re so warm, Koushi.”
“That’s a really weird reason to be into someone,” Koushi says. They stick their feet up on the little table in front of them.
“That’s not the only reason,” Keiji says defensively. “They’re kind in a way no one has ever been kind to me before, except you. They don’t know me as Keiji, the Great Prince of the Realms. They just see me as...me.”
“My offer to marry you still stands, just so we’re clear,” Koushi says. When Keiji looks up, their grin is sharp. “Great big fuck you to your entire family sounds super fun to me.”
“You find a judge who’ll marry us, knowing my name, and I’ll gladly accept.” Keiji rests against the back of his seat and throws an arm over his eyes.
It’s not that Keiji hasn’t tried to be courted by his own. He’s given it several tries. But the suitors his family chooses are arrogant, looking to marry Keiji only to get ahead in their own social circles, or seeking Keiji’s family’s fortune. Keiji has never desired anything more than to be treated as something other than a piece of fish that happens to have a title.
Only Tetsurou and Koutarou--and Koushi--have ever seen him that way.
In a few minutes, when Koushi speaks again, their voice is closer than before. “Are you in love with them, Keiji?”
Keiji slides his arm back to the top of his head and opens his eyes. Koushi’s kneeling beside him, and when they meet his gaze, they put a hand on his knee.
Keiji bites his lip. “I think I am.”
---
“So what do I do about it?” Keiji asks.
Koushi looks up at him. “Isn’t it obvious?”
“Not at all.”
Koushi shakes their head. “Keiji. You don’t want to live here. You’ve always thought of yourself as trapped. Half the city thinks you’re dead, anyway, and the other half already thinks you’ve run off. When was the last time you even saw your parents outside of a formal event?”
“It’s been a while,” Keiji admits. “Although you’ll have to spell out what you’re thinking more plainly for me.”
Koushi sighs. “Go be with your humans, Keiji.”
“I can’t—”
“You say that, but what, exactly, is keeping you here?” Koushi gestures in the direction of the city. “Your brother has it more than under control. He’s been covering for you all this time anyway. Just...go, Keiji. Go live the life you want, even if that’s fucking weird.”
“It’s not fucking weird,” Keiji replies. He frowns. “And if I’m gone, what are you gonna do?”
“Aw, Keiji,” Koushi says. They look down at the floor. “I’ll be alright. I don’t love it here, but I’ve never suffered from expectation the way you do.”
Keiji looks up at the ceiling, fighting the urge to tear up. “You can come visit me, if you want. On days when it’s raining.”
“I’m not gonna be in a foursome with you. Humans aren’t my style.”
A laugh bubbles up out of Keiji against his will, and Koushi opens his arms. Keiji goes over and hugs him tightly.
“If you ever want to come visit, you know where I’ll be,” Koushi murmurs.
Keiji sniffs. “You’re my best friend, Koush. I’ll miss you so much.”
“Nah,” Koushi answers. Keiji can tell they’re crying, too. “You’ll be too busy with your humans.”
“That doesn’t mean I’ll forget you,” Keiji answers. “I always loved you first.”
Keiji is quiet. Their arms wrap a little more tightly around him. “Me, too,” they reply.
---
The sun is beating down onto the water when Keiji steps out of the ocean.
His scales do not turn to skin. His fingers do not recede. His feet remain flippers. He’s only two steps out when he trips and falls over them, the sand softening the blow to his knees. He lifts his head and looks up at the little cabin, the only place he’s ever called home.
He crawls, his body moving forward of its own accord. In his head, he tries to practice the speech he’d written. Please allow me to apologize for my behavior. I should have explained who I was. I shouldn’t have left without saying goodbye. I understand if you can’t forgive me, but if you can…
He reaches the door and knocks. He’d planned to stand, but his chest is heaving and he’s exhausted by the small amount of energy he’d burned to get this far. He’s got his hands on his knees and his head down when the door opens.
Koutarou stands in front of him, his eyes wide and quickly tearing. “Tetsu,” he calls, his voice breaking.
“Koutarou, I—”
Koutarou falls to his knees and wraps his arms around Keiji, sobbing quietly into his shoulder. Keiji lets his own tears begin to fall, too. The weight of another gaze causes Keiji to look up and see Tetsurou leaning against the doorway.
“I’ll be honest,” he says, so quietly it’s nearly a whisper. “I didn’t think you’d come back.”
All of the words Keiji so carefully planned fall neatly out of his head. The best he can manage is the truth.
“I love you,” he says. Koutarou grips at him a little more tightly. “I’m sorry if that makes things inconvenient—”
“Shut up, Keiji,” Tetsurou says, shaking his head and smiling. “Kou, let him come in out of the sun, that’s probably not great for his skin.”
“It’s actually fine,” Keiji murmurs, but Koutarou hauls him upright. Keiji wraps his legs around Koutarou’s waist as he carries him into the cabin. Behind them, the door shuts. Koutarou sits on the bed and doesn’t let go of Keiji.
“Don’t leave us again,” Koutarou says. “Please. I can’t do this anymore, Keiji, I can’t keep waiting for you. We can’t keep waiting for you.”
Keiji pulls away just enough to look into his eyes. He places his hand against Koutarou’s cheek. The blue-green of his scales sticks out in sharp contrast to the pink of Koutarou’s skin.
“This isn’t going to be easy…” he says. He looks to Tetsurou.
“We love you too, Keiji,” Tetsurou says. He sits down next to Koutarou. “We don’t care about easy. We care about you. So if you want to stay, we’ll make this work, whatever it takes.”
Keiji blinks. Tetsurou looks at him, sure and steady. Koutarou’s eyes are still watery, but he, too, looks certain.
Keiji takes a deep breath. “I want to stay.”
Koutarou tugs him into a hug again, Tetsurou wraps his arms around both of them, and Keiji begins his new life on land.
---
“My mother was right,” Tetsurou says later that night. Keiji’s feet are hanging out of the side of the tub. Koutarou is behind him, and Tetsurou’s on the floor beside them. “As much as it pains me to admit it.”
“About the monsters in the sea?” Keiji questions. He smirks. “I’m not exactly a monster, Tetsurou.”
“No,” Tetsurou replies. “But you did take my heart.”
Keiji would blush if he could. Instead he ducks his head. “Kou has it, too.”
“Half of mine, half of his,” Koutarou says. “That’s one whole heart. Thief.”
Keiji tuts as Koutarou and Tetsurou laugh at him. “Maybe we should tell of monsters on land that will do the same, then,” he says.
Koutarou kisses his cheek, and Tetsurou smiles. “Maybe we should,” Tetsurou acquiesces.